Going through his clothes

The night I came home from the hospital all I wanted was to snuggle up to Joe's shirt or his pillow, or just something that smelled like him.  When I got in the closet I was horrified to realize that nothing smelled like him anymore.  Two weeks gone and everything had aired out.  Even the shirt he was wearing in the hospital didn't smell like him because I'd sprayed it with his brothers cologne.  Since I realized that nothing smelled like him, opening my closet and seeing his clothes in there has been like stomping on my own foot each time.  It hurt! So I decided it was time for me to move them, not get rid of them, I'm not ready for that yet.  But I can't open the closet and see all his clothes that he's not going to wear every time I need something out of there.  So I bought a plastic tote and began taking his clothes out of the dresser and out of the closet.  It was like looking through a memory book with each item.  I remembered where he wore this shirt, how much I liked this pair of jeans better than this one.  Even the swimming trunks that I hated I smiled over.  It wasn't as painful as I thought it was going to be.  It was nice in a way.  I thought about how much he wore this one shirt (simply because it was one that never needed ironing). 

I threw away the socks and stuff like that, but can't bring myself to do anything with the rest of his clothes.   A long time ago a lady who had lost her son asked someone to make a quilt out of his clothes and I used to think that was sick and morbid.  Now after losing Joe, I understand her reasoning somewhat, but I personally can't see myself cutting up his clothes.  For now they will stay in the tote and maybe one day I'll be ready to do something more with them.  Maybe I'll donate them to charity, burn them, or maybe I'll make a quilt. Whatever I do with them, it will be in my own time.  I think that alot of the grieving process is a personal timing thing.  No one can say that you will be angry for this amount of time, you'll be in denial for this amount of time.   It all depends on the person.  I dont think there is a wrong or a right way to do it.  What works for someone else might not work at all for me and vice versa.  I just know that when it hurts to much to do something (like take off my wedding rings) I will just wait.  If it makes me feel better to do it (like cleaning out the dresser) then that is what I will do.